NEW AGER:
Have you ever seen one of those nature shows
where you see males fighting in order to gain the upper hand or more simply
gain a mate? , and where the female of the species is looking after the
young? While many would acknowledge that every person is different, some
suggest that this basic pattern seems to carry over into the human species. Men
would compete against each other to win the women, and compete against nature
to win their dinner. For men, winning meant staying alive.
NEW AGER:
Women, on the other hand, were often in the role
of taking care of the families and encouraging cooperation. For women,
avoiding fights meant staying alive. Linguists have noticed that men and
women tend to carry over these basic traits into how they communicate, even
today. Women's speech seems to demonstrate a desire to avoid
a conflict. For example, suspecting her man
of taking her hairbrush, rather than
accuse her man outright ...
NEW AGER:
You borrowed my hairbrush without asking
permission. She will use a tag question as a way to bring the other person
into the conversation, and soften a remark so as to sound less accusatory ... You
didn't take my hairbrush, did you? In a similar vain, it's suggested that
women are more likely to use what linguists call hedges - those words like
'perhaps', 'seem' etcetera so as to turn a direct statement into a softer one. Just
in case the listener has a different take on the situation.
NEW AGER:
Well, it seems like the fridge is broken. Perhaps we should call a repair man. While thewoman may just want to flag up the fact the fridge is broken .... The man may infersomething else .... Why don't you just ask me directly to get the fridge fixed!
Well, it seems like the fridge is broken. Perhaps
we should call a repair man. While the woman may just want to flag up the
fact the fridge is broken ... The man may infer something else ... Why
don't you just ask me directly to get the fridge fixed?!
NEW AGER:
Linguists have noticed that men show a preference for more directness in conversation- calling a spade a spade and get the job done. Linguists have also noticed that women
see communication as a way of developing close relationships. Talking about their
problems is one way to help develop this bond. Sharing problems has less to do withthe need to find a solution and more to do with establishing a kind of intimacy.
WOMAN:
I'm so exhausted. My boss is giving me so
many assignments and I never get any recognition for the work I do.
NEW AGER:
The man, however, hears the problem as a request for advice and responds as such.
MAN:
You should take a vacation!
WOMAN:
It's not that simple!
NEW AGER:
The woman feels hurt, assuming that the man is
uninterested, wanting only to offer a quick solution. He, on the other
hand, is left confused by his failure to help her feel better. Thankfully,
understanding how people communicate is a skill which we can develop throughout
our lives and it's good to remember that life would be pretty boring
if we
were all the same.