You may be able to deliver
killer speeches, wonderful presentations and professional talks on topics of
your choice. But can you make small talk? There are times in life when you need
to make casual conversation. And in business, the social aspect of a business
relationship is often as important as the professional one. Here are some top
tips for making small talk.
1. Listen
The number-one rule when
making small talk is to listen. Make a conscious effort to remember what the
other person is saying. Then, you can use this information to generate more
conversation.
2. Questions
In order to keep the
conversation going, ask lots of open questions with question words such as who,
why, what, when and where. For example:
a) What did you think
of the conference?
b) Where did you go
for your last holidays?
c) Who did you see at
the party last week?
3. Interest
While you’re talking to
someone, focus exclusively on that person. And use your body language to show
that you’re interested: face the person, use eye contact and nod your head at
appropriate moments. Also, use conversational fillers such as “ah
ha/really?/amazing!” to show that you’re interested in what they’re saying...
even if you aren’t!
4. Follow up
Follow up on everything that
the person you’re talking to tells you. For example:
a) You’re a lawyer,
aren't you? What motivated you to go into law?
b) So, you like
tennis, do you? How often do you get to play?
5. Ego check
Try to avoid always turning the
attention of the conversation back on yourself. For example, if someone
mentions that they’ve just been to Italy, don’t respond with, “Oh, I’ve been
there. We went there last year.” Instead, use this information as an
opportunity to ask lots of questions about the other person’s trip: Where did
you go? Who did you go with? What was it like? What did you see?
6. Watch out!
Avoid saying anything that
could be interpreted as criticism or judgement; and above all, keep away from
potentially controversial topics such as religion and politics.
7. Practice
Practice making small talk
whenever you can. When abroad, talk with cashiers, waiters, and taxi
drivers, and try to get into conversation when you’re in a queue, in a
lift or in the doctors’ waiting room. The more you practise, the better
you’ll get.
8. Read!
Keep up-to-date on the latest
news so you’ll always have something to talk about; and try to read things
on a wide variety of topics: cookery, television, music, sports, fashion,
art, baseball, Russia, butter, hip-hop, shoes, poetry... anything goes!
9. Write it down
Write down any interesting
stories you hear, or details of funny things that have happened to you.
Later, you can use these anecdotes to brighten up a dull conversation. For
example:
a) I’ve had a
terrible day. Just as I was leaving home…
b) Something really
funny happened to me the other day. Just as I got to work…
c) I had a nightmare
at the hotel yesterday.
d) I heard this funny
story on the news last night.
10. Think “situation”!
Think carefully about where
you are. For example, if you’re at a wedding, think of all the relevant
things you could ask: How do you know the bride? How long have you been
friends with the groom? How did you get here? Where are you staying? Or,
if you’re visiting a new company, you could ask the following: What’s it
like working here? How easy is it to get into the city centre? Where’s a
good place to get lunch round here? Etc.
11. Top topics
If you’re ever running out of
conversation, use one of these failsafe conversation topics: the
news, film, football, sport, music, the weather, fashion,
literature, cars, hobbies, the weekend, videogames, the theatre, family,
local topics (shops, clubs, etc.), TV, celebrities, scandals, holidays,
travel, entertainment, work, your hometown, food, traditions,
customs. For example:
a) I went to this
great restaurant last night.
b) What are you doing
this weekend?
c) I saw this
incredible film last week.
Small talk can be a lot of
fun, but you need to prepare for it and practise.
And remember, small talk can
lead to big business!