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I’m sick of being sick!
BEAR HUNTING
A: I say, I say, I say. What’s the best way to hunt bear?
B: I don’t know. What is the best way to hunt bear?
A: With no clothes on.
Glossary:
to hunt vb - when people “ hunt”, they look for wild animals
to kill for food or as a form of sport
a bear n - a
large, strong wild animal with thick fur and
sharp claws (feet/hands).
“Bear” has the same pronunciation as “bare”, which means “without clothes”
SOUP
A posh Englishman is in a restaurant in New York City. About five minutes
after ordering his food, the waitress brings him a bowl of soup. As she puts it
down on the table, the man looks at the food in disgust and says, “Good
heavens! What’s this?”
“It’s bean soup,” the waitress replies.
And the Englishman says, “I don’t care what it’s been? I want to know
what it is now!”
Glossary:
in disgust exp - if you look at something “in disgust”, you have
an expression on your face that shows that
you hate / dislike that thing
a bean n
the small, dried seed of a plant that you can eat.
“Bean” also sounds like “been” – the past participle
of the verb “to be”
SICK MAN
A man isn’t feeling very well, so he goes to the doctor. After examining
the patient, the doctor takes his wife aside, and says, “Your
husband has a very weak heart. I’m afraid he isn’t going to make it unless
you nurse him 24-hours a day. I’d suggest he stays on the sofa or in bed
and you bring his meals to him and do everything you can to ensure he’s as
relaxed and content as possible – just make sure he doesn’t do anything
himself.”
Horrified, the woman asks, “And how long do I have to do that for?”
“Just until he regains his strength,” the doctor explains.
“I’d say it shouldn’t take longer than about three years.”
On the way home, the husband asks, “So, what did the doctor say?”
“Well”, his wife explains, “you aren’t going to make it.”
Glossary:
to take aside phr vb - if you “take someone aside”, you ask them to
come with you to a quiet place so you can
talk to them in private
weak adj - not strong
to make it exp - if someone is going to “make it”, they’re going
to survive
(they aren’t going to die)
to nurse vb - if you “nurse” someone, you care for them when
they’re ill
to regain strength exp - to become strong and healthy again
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